The phrase “domestic violence” often conjures up horrifying images of a physically battered spouse. But sometimes psychological or emotional abuse can be just as harmful. It’s for this reason that—in addition to physical assault—domestic violence laws also typically address threats and harassment.
What Is Domestic Violence?
While domestic violence laws vary somewhat from state to state, the thrust of the laws will basically be the same. For example, in California, the definition of “abuse” includes making someone reasonably afraid that they or someone else is about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone). Harassing someone or stalking them, among other things, is also considered abuse.
In New Jersey, “harassment” includes engaging in a course of alarming conduct or of repeatedly committing acts intended to alarm or seriously annoy another person. Although this article is geared to threats and harassment between spouses, you should note that domestic violence laws can pertain to other relationships as well, such as other household members and possibly even people who are dating.
How to Get Help When Threatened or Harassed
There are typically a number of avenues open to you when seeking assistance in the face of threats or harassment. Family Law divisions of your county court will ordinarily have personnel who specifically deal with domestic violence matters. These individuals will assist you in filing a domestic violence complaint and explain the legal protections available to you, depending on your circumstances.
If you need to file the complaint when the courts are closed, or if the threat appears to be one that could result in immediate harm, you should call 911. Police officers today receive training in how to respond to potential domestic violence situations.
What Kind of Relief From Threats or Harassment Can I Expect?
Domestic violence laws usually provide a comprehensive array of remedies applicable to various scenarios. Some of these may go into effect temporarily, as soon as you file the complaint. However, before any of them become permanent, the court has to find that an act of domestic violence occurred.
Temporary (or Ex Parte) Relief
A judge will normally grant a temporary restraining order (TRO) if it reasonably appears that someone has committed an act of domestic violence. As a practical matter, judges tend to take an “err on the side of caution” approach, to avoid one spouse inflicting harm on the other.
A temporary order may include items such as:
- removing the accused spouse from the marital home
- preventing that spouse from having any contact, anywhere, with the spouse filing the complaint
- limiting or denying contact by the accused spouse with the children of the marriage, based on what the judge believes is in the children’s best interest, and
- removing any weapons from the accused spouse’s possession.
If the paperwork references the term "ex parte" (ex par-tee), it means the judge is only hearing one side of the story at this time (yours). The judge will require notice to go to the accused spouse so they may appear in court. And the judge won't make the terms permanent until the other side gets their chance. (Whether they show up and contest the order is another matter.)
Permanent Relief
Usually, within a week to 10 days of a complaint being filed, the court will set a date for a domestic violence hearing regarding the abuse allegations. At the hearing, it is up to the spouse who filed the complaint to prove to the court that an act of domestic violence occurred. The accused spouse will also have a chance to refute the evidence and allegations.
How much you have to prove to successfully make your case varies from state to state. However, it's usually either: by a “preponderance of the evidence” (New Jersey), which means the greater weight of the evidence favors the accuser; or by reasonable proof or good cause (California). The latter appears to give the judge a little more leeway in making a decision. If the other side doesn't appear, the judge will usually grant the order as long as the complaining spouse proved their case.
If the spouse filing the complaint meets the proof standards, the relief granted in the TRO may become permanent. The permanent order may also address other items, such as:
- temporary custody of the children
- support for the abused spouse and the children
- possession of certain personal property, like automobiles, checkbooks, and other personal effects, and
- an obligation to make rent or mortgage payments on the residence occupied by the spouse who filed the complaint.
Note that, although these final orders are referred to as “permanent,” there may be a time limit as to how long they stay in effect (usually somewhere between one to five years), depending on your state. However, you may be able to ask the court for a yearly extension, if need be.
Violation of any restraining order—temporary or permanent—could result in a judge imposing sanctions, including incarceration.
Dealing with threats and harassment can take a physical and emotional toll on you and other family members. You should consider contacting a local family law attorney for specific advice.