For some couples, divorce is often a long and painful process. But it doesn’t have to be. Your divorce can move forward amicably and at a reasonable pace. Even spouses who drag their feet in a divorce don’t necessarily control the process. You and your attorney can discuss ways to get your divorce going so that you can move on with your life sooner.
What Should I Expect in a Divorce?
A divorce begins when either spouse files a divorce petition. Spouses can speed up the process by making their divorce uncontested—meaning both spouses agree to all of the terms in the petition. However, in most cases one spouse files and serves a divorce complaint and the other spouse has 20 or so days to file a response. Couples with more complicated assets and custody issues usually have longer and more expensive divorces.
Some aspects of a divorce simply take time. For example, in many states there’s a mandatory waiting period in a contested divorce. That period can force a couple to wait anywhere from 30 to 90 days from the time they submit their divorce paperwork to when the judge will sign off and grant the divorce.
What to Do If a Spouse Isn’t Responding?
If you filed for divorce, your spouse may want to delay your divorce to see if you can patch things up. A spouse can continually ask for court extensions or may refuse to respond to your filings. However, your spouse’s failure to file a response to the divorce petition can actually work in your favor. After you’ve served your spouse with a divorce complaint and the response deadline has passed, you can seek a default judgment.
In a default judgment, a judge can grant you exactly what you requested in the divorce petition. Your spouse’s failure to respond will be treated as an agreement to your terms. You’ll have to prove to the court that you provided your spouse with proper notice of the divorce. If your spouse has moved without giving you a new address or is avoiding service, a judge may allow you to publish a divorce notice in a local newspaper.
How to Combat Your Spouse’s Delay Tactics
It can be even more frustrating if you’re caught in the middle of a divorce where you can’t seek a default judgment because your spouse responds, albeit slowly. For example, some spiteful spouses continually request extensions, cancel depositions last minute, and are always too busy to schedule a mediation. In those situations you may need to take additional steps to force your spouse to participate. Specifically, you can deny your spouse’s request to cancel a deposition for the third time and file a formal motion, asking a judge to issue sanctions (fines or other punishments) against your spouse. You may also be able to recoup some of the attorney's fees you spent on the motion.
Additionally, if your spouse refuses to attend mediation you can ask the court to schedule a settlement conference. Settlement conferences typically take place at the courthouse in the judge’s chambers. Your spouse may take things more seriously if a judge is involved. If you’re dealing with a spouse trying to delay your divorce, you need to stand firm and continue to push forward.
Questions for Your Attorney
- My spouse has always had health problems and claims he can’t deal with the divorce right now because of medical issues. Do I have to wait for his health to improve in order to get divorced?
- My spouse and I have agreed on all terms and want to have our divorce completed before our children’s school lets out for the summer. Is there a way to get around our state’s 90-day waiting period?
- The judge seems to believe my spouse’s excuses for delaying the divorce. What else can I do to move my case forward?